Self-Portrait, 1967
a happy “sonofabitch”[1] crossing the street
I was ten that year, had never ever seen a bare wall
green army uniforms made the summer exciting
I scampered in and out of the language of debate
learning how to read from political posters
my sensitive snout picking up the smell of burning
the sun was blistering that summer of raging slogans
a sonofabitch crossing through a revolutionary storm
classrooms empt-empt-empty
a “sonofabitch” crossing through a whizz of bullets
finally charging up onto the muzzle of a gun
more thrilled than I'd ever been, I had no idea what death was in my tenth summer
I felt like I was living in a movie
and had caught up with the life and times of the heroic Pavel Korchagin [2]
when I care-carefully picked up a bullet off the ground
what my fingers touched was only the start of the nightmare
in 1967 I saw faces vanishing into thin air with my own eyes
a jittery little “sonofabitch” crossing the street
and running as fast as it could from the scenes of 1967
7 March, 1994
Translator's notes:
[1] The word gouzaizi, translated above as “sonofabitch,” literally means “dog-spawn.” During the Cultural Revolution (1966-1976), this term was used to refer to the children of parents classified as landlords, rich peasants, anti-revolutionaries, convicted prisoners and so-called “Rightists” (intellectuals who had criticized the Chinese Communist Party).
[2] Pavel Korchagin is the worker-hero of the novel How the Steel Was Tempered by Nikolai Ostrovsky. The book was extremely popular in China (millions were sold) and was recently made into a television series.
About the translator
Simon Patton is an Chinese-English literary translator who has also translated Yi Sha and Yu Jian. He lived for many years in Hong Kong and now resides in Australia.